What a hiatus!

I have not been around these parts in a minute! I’ve been using another medium to blog about some things near and dear that I don’t necessarily need everyone to know about but have to work through. With that, plus school, meetings, work, standing appointments, choir, orchestra, and dating, I’ve been incredibly busy.

Crazy how life gets good isn’t it?

Have you ever taken into consideration the random articles found on the roadways? I’m curious. I mentioned this on my Facebook, seeing a random shoe in the median. The responses were varied – some wondered, like me, if a person was so angry that throwing a shoe out of the window was the only natural response. Others thought that perhaps something terrible happened. One person said a ‘friend of hers’ thought that it was proof of an alien abduction. But I mean, I have seen some weird things on the roadside. Baby seat. Couch. Couch cushion. Bookshelf. Shoe. Backpack. I can’t imagine that all of these things bounced out of the back of a truck.

Sometimes I look at pictures of space, and of Earth, and of our Universe and I just get overwhelmed. Does that ever happen to you with anything? I just think about our planets in orbit around the sun, and how incredible it is that such a thing exists at all, and how so many things happen in such a big world that is actually tiny in comparison to the solar system it resides in while hurtling through space. Sometimes it’s a challenge for me to wrap my mind around the god thing, but when I think of all this, I’m convinced that the name doesn’t matter – there’s something out there bigger than me and I’m grateful.

Think about weather, and tides, and how plants and humans help each other out, and tell me that it wasn’t by design. Now look, I’m a firm believer in science and I’m not saying that the world was created in “7 days” by a supreme being. I don’t think there’s a puppet master pulling strings. What I am saying is that it isn’t just coincidence that humans breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, and that plants absorb carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. That’s one of many examples that I could provide, but I think at this point I’m starting to ramble. It’s just powerful stuff.

I’m *this* close to home-ownership again! Also *this* close to being done with class for the semester. Orchestra concert was Sunday and went off well. I had a few people in the audience this time which was pretty cool. Choir concert is in a month. Closing date for the house would be in a month. I’m dating a neat guy. I’m doing personal training at the gym, I’m sponsoring a gal who seems to really be trying, I’m participating in service commitments…

Basically what I’m saying is I’m so busy I think that sometimes I skate by on adrenaline and caffeine alone. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I have a few friends who openly protest Thanksgiving, stating that America is celebrating genocide of the Native American population, and I know there are many others who believe that way. Lots of protests by Native American tribes take place on Thanksgiving. On the other hand, many Native Americans are supportive of Thanksgiving, as the main purpose of the day is to give thanks to whatever you believe in for the things we have in life. I think initially it was a day of thanks for the first successful harvest. Of course, there are those who will say history has been changed and what the books say does not accurately reflect what really happened. I guess we’ll never know for sure.What I love is that everyone is entitled to believe what they want. As long as you don’t force your beliefs on me, we’re good.

That being said, I love Thanksgiving, with all of the drama of trying to get the food prepared at the same time, making sure the potatoes aren’t too lumpy or too smooth. I swear, someday I’m going to master what ‘until it looks right’ means when my mom tells me to add milk to the potatoes. I like looking at ads at what I’d buy if I had all the money in the world or the bravery to try to shop on Black Friday. I like having football on the TV while we nap, going to the meeting, playing games, eating pie. What I really want to do that I have never done is see the lighting ceremony in our downtown area. I am hoping I can this year. I’ve been here 30 years and never experienced it. I mean I’ve seen the lights. I just haven’t seen them light up for the first time. Ya get me.

Wow. This thing is all over the place. Well, kinda like my brain I guess. You’re welcome.

Friday took forever to get here.

What if what I think is random isn’t so random?

Do you do things you don’t want to do because you know that even if you don’t want to it’s the right thing to do? Adulting.

I am surprised that I am apprehensive to go on vacation tomorrow considering I already traveled alone much further away, but I suppose it’s healthy to be a little afraid. Right? RIGHT?

I am looking forward to reading a lot.

How does one figure out what to write about? Just, generally speaking. Generally.

It’s funny, I see a list of movies that are leaving Netflix and I’m outraged that I didn’t even know some of them were AVAILABLE on Netflix and then I remember I watch the same 2 or 3 shows all the time and consider the fact that maybe I need to branch out more.

If I want to travel internationally again next year, I should start figuring out where I want to go now. Or soon-ish.

Figuring out who I am, what I like and what I want, and learning how to speak up and voice all of that, has been a terrifying and also quite rewarding experience. I get to exercise my right to say yes, and to say no, and deal with whatever the fallout is from those actions. I get to choose. It’s cool. I realize that speaking your mind and saying no when you don’t want to do something or yes when you do may not be new for a lot of people. It is new for me. I’m liking it a lot.

Tattoo in Florida? Mayyyyybe….

Idle time does not suit me

I still like to cut (tear) the crust off my sandwiches. I’d probably use one of those cool dinosaur sandwich things if I had one. If I ever have kids, it’s going to be on.

I have to hit stop on the microwave if someone has left remaining time on there and exited the premises. Seriously, who does that? How hard is it to hit a button? ONE TIME! (Please note, I will never put up a passive/aggressive note stating that people should ‘please hit end once you are done using the microwave’ because that’s just dumb)

I finally bit the bullet and got a personal trainer. Why is it so damn intimidating to meeting with a fitness guru? Like, hey. I’ve been working hard in the gym for two months and I still feel inadequate walking around the gym with you. Maybe that’s just me. But I have hope that I’ll make progress at a quicker pace when I have someone guiding me through.

What is it about nature that is so restorative? I wish I had a window at work.

Why are raccoons the most adorable little shits on the planet? I mean they will literally tear apart your yard/trash/whatever but they look so cute!

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head, pick it out, play it, and realize you were imagining it in the right key, and it’s better when you listen to it than just remembering it your mind? I do that all the time. Especially when I get anxious. (I have to talk in front of over 400 people tonight. I am not excited)

Do personal trainers REALLY believe that they can help you achieve your goals or do they just say that to get paid? I think I’m having buyer’s remorse. Time will tell.

Why is it that on the slow days at work I have the most irritating thoughts processing through my brain, with absolutely no distractions from them. No escaping them. Ugh.

You know those friends that you can be complete 100% yourself with and go a little crazy and they love you anyway? Hold on to those friends. They’ll be there when things get really tough. And be there for them too. #lifelessons

Hollabackatcha

How does one decide to go into the wig business? Ya don’t see wig stores very often, do you? I don’t. Is it a family business?

There is haze in my town, in the Midwest, from wildfires in Canada. That’s pretty crazy.

Snapchat is so dumb yet I love it so much. I get goofy pictures from my friends throughout the day that break up an otherwise potentially boring/stressful/monotonous day.

Venus and Jupiter are putting on a show tonight. You should check it out. Space is cool.

I wish there were a trial period for new pillows. Like, hey, this looked good in the store, but 2 days with it and my neck feels like death. But no, I tried returning a pillow and was declined. So, I have a growing assortment of decorative pillows because of the fails that I’ve tried.

It is getting outta control. (Note: this is a google image and not my actual pillow pile)

Sometimes, like today, my coffee needs coffee.

You ever look at your calendar and think, man this month looks pretty open, and then 3 days later there are things going on like, every day? I’m glad school doesn’t start until the end of August. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful my life is full. But the struggle after work between napping and the gym is real. (I brought gym clothes with me to work to combat having to go home to change and falling on the couch instead, however I’m debating.)

Coming in to the office and complaining before your ass hits your seat is generally not a great way to start the day, for anyone. #headphonesforthewin

I drove the nicest BMW this weekend. And now I know what my goal is for my next vehicle.

Sometimes adulting is lame – I want to run through the sprinklers and eat pb & j wrapped in a towel with grass in my feet. (I get that I can do that, but I want to do it right now, rather than be at work, see, there’s the dilemma)

Cereal is one of the best things ever.

I read an article yesterday about 15 things grocery stores do to trap you there and make you spend more money, only fueling my hatred of the grocery store.

I’m finally joining this century and purchasing a blu-ray player with wi-fi access. Meaning I can go from my Roku and DVD player to one device that does all streaming, DVD and Blu-Ray in one spot. Next purchase will be new surround sound. And someday, a newer TV. One thing at a time.

My title is a Psych reference. Just, for the record.

Thunderstorms are the best alarm clock.

My trip was empowering. I came back with some self-respect, so that’s new. I dig it.

So it’s mid-week back at work. I’ve been busy, clearly, but I’ve also been to work early. I think I had an almost imperceptible mind-shift regarding life in general.

James Horner died in a plane crash this week. It is a huge loss to the world – he wrote beautiful music. I have many of his in my collection – Avatar and Braveheart and Field of Dreams, An American Tale, The Land Before Time (one of my favs), Glory, The Man Without a Face, of course Titanic, Hocus Pocus, Apollo 13, Jumanji, and so so many others. It was shocking when I heard. He will truly be missed. He definitely left a legacy.

What is it about working out that is so great? I just love it. I also love cookies, so…

It still amazes me that one small thing can cause a flood of memories and a punch in the heart region. I try really hard to just move past that nostalgia – it’s easy to remember things through rose-colored glasses and forget the not-so-great times.

It’s also easy to feel lonely when someone you used to spend time with has found someone new. (Don’t forget, you may see me as an independent world-traveler with amazing friends and family and several hobbies that I enjoy, but I’m also a girl who wants to share her life with someone)

Moving on – I’m trying to decide where my next trip is going to be. Yes, of course I am. Greece? Not until they figure out their whole economic situation. Australia? Sydney maybe – always wanted to go there too. (Crocodile Dundee was a staple in my childhood) I’d love to go to Portugal, and of course Scotland/England/Wales. Clearly I want to go to all the places. Maybe I should stay stateside and just go to southern California or Maine. Both places I have never been but want to see. All in good time.

Who was the one that figured out how to fold two sheets and two pillow cases into a little rectangle for convenient packaging? Seriously. It’s like voodoo.

Seriously.

Someone compared their brain to a Rubik’s cube last night and I have to say I totally relate.

My cat chases my shadow and I find it quite hilarious. I’ll have to post a video sometime. I try to think of things to make me smile when I am thinking negatively and that one usually does the trick. Also, Avengers.

Ya know, also, I’m getting real tired of letting people make me feel stupid. I get to choose how I react to things. I don’t like being demeaned, as no one probably does. The difference is I don’t have to tolerate being treated that way, by anyone. I just have to figure out how to react with assertion and not aggression or defense.

Kind of a weird, all over post today. But that’s just where I am.

One more note, if you like movie soundtracks as I clearly do, check out Many Beautiful Things – the soundtrack is by Sleeping At Last and it’s fabulous.

Check it out.

This post is a good example of my brain = Rubik’s cube.