I love hobbies.

Can you imagine what it was like to discover the universe? I mean, to figure out that something in space was actually another planet, or to figure out the sun was the center of the universe? That we were actually moving around the sun and not the other way around? I wonder what it was like back then.

Hey! Conningsby! Come take a look through this telescope chap, and tell me what you see! By jove, it’s a planet I tell you!

Look I’m just saying it’d definitely be a life altering moment. If I had the smarts, I’d do science stuff. Space is fascinating guys.

Road workers have the most terrifying jobs. Ok maybe not most, but they’re up there. Driving home last night, watching guys put cones out on the INTERSTATE while people were flying around them going way too fast, I just pondered how absolutely terrifying it’d be to do that job. I also realized I had never seen them in the process of blocking off lanes.

I walked away from the house – the inspection was just awful. Too many big things to fix. It was sad, but I feel better about the decision today. So, back to the search.

I have actually felt an inspiration to paint something, which I’ve not had yet, or acknowledged at least. I’m looking forward to doing it, I just don’t know WHEN.

I’ve found that pictures hanging in my cubicle make me hate it less. I wonder if there’s a limit on how many personal items we can have at our desk. I have a handful, at least. I’ve never heard anything of the sort here, but at other big companies I have had friends who had to clear off personal items. Which I think is just ridiculous. Especially when we have no windows. If I have a troll with neon pink hair to keep me company on my desk, why should anyone care? (I don’t have one, but that’d be pretty sweet).

I got a guitar from my uncle to play for a while – I can’t wait. Hearing the strings, feeling them beneath my fingers, that full, rich sound, there’s nothing like it. I’m terribly out of practice, but the point is just to play. It’ll come back to me.

I’m sad to see summer go but I am ready for boots, hoodies and leaves crunching under my feet. Fall is my favorite. Just don’t think too much about what comes after fall. Stay in the moment, it’s much more fun.

Why aren’t there resealable bags for cereal?

What happens if a cop pulls you over and they have a headlight out? Can you say something about it? Do they do once-overs on their cars before they go out on patrol? “Hey Bob, can you check my taillights?”

What is it about food days at work? It’s like the only thing that we can get excited about. Happy Friday! Stuff your face! But one of my aisle-mates brought homemade salsa so I am pretty stoked about that.

Why can’t I seem to take my contacts out on a regular basis? I did last night and today my eyes will not stop watering. I really need to get in the habit of taking them out more, I don’t want to do permanent damage to my eyes. Besides, my glasses are pretty adorable.

How crazy is it that just over 4 years ago I had no chance of doing anything based on my credit score, and today I’ve been pre-approved for a house?! (It’s pretty crazy)

What even are allergies? I mean, how do they just randomly show up in a person at 30? Have they been lying dormant in my body this whole time?

School starts in just over a week. I’m so close to being done I can taste it.

My life is so full today – I’m really quite lucky.

Idle time does not suit me

I still like to cut (tear) the crust off my sandwiches. I’d probably use one of those cool dinosaur sandwich things if I had one. If I ever have kids, it’s going to be on.

I have to hit stop on the microwave if someone has left remaining time on there and exited the premises. Seriously, who does that? How hard is it to hit a button? ONE TIME! (Please note, I will never put up a passive/aggressive note stating that people should ‘please hit end once you are done using the microwave’ because that’s just dumb)

I finally bit the bullet and got a personal trainer. Why is it so damn intimidating to meeting with a fitness guru? Like, hey. I’ve been working hard in the gym for two months and I still feel inadequate walking around the gym with you. Maybe that’s just me. But I have hope that I’ll make progress at a quicker pace when I have someone guiding me through.

What is it about nature that is so restorative? I wish I had a window at work.

Why are raccoons the most adorable little shits on the planet? I mean they will literally tear apart your yard/trash/whatever but they look so cute!

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head, pick it out, play it, and realize you were imagining it in the right key, and it’s better when you listen to it than just remembering it your mind? I do that all the time. Especially when I get anxious. (I have to talk in front of over 400 people tonight. I am not excited)

Do personal trainers REALLY believe that they can help you achieve your goals or do they just say that to get paid? I think I’m having buyer’s remorse. Time will tell.

Why is it that on the slow days at work I have the most irritating thoughts processing through my brain, with absolutely no distractions from them. No escaping them. Ugh.

You know those friends that you can be complete 100% yourself with and go a little crazy and they love you anyway? Hold on to those friends. They’ll be there when things get really tough. And be there for them too. #lifelessons

Adulting? Mostly.

This week I:

• Started a novel
• Went on a 1st date
• Hit the gym hard
• Got a massage
• Got asked on a 2nd date
• Lowered my car insurance (this is a huge deal)
• Had a lunch date with my mom
• Vaccuumed
• Got groceries (still delivery, let’s not get too excited)
• Made it to work early every day
• Actually wore lipstick to work
• Made my bed every day
• Finished said novel
• Didn’t forget one coffee date or appointment
• Packed food every day for work
• Started a second novel

This week I did not:

• Do laundry
• Unload the dishwasher
• Get my oil changed
• Make it to the gym as often as I would have liked
• stop listening to Imagine Dragons (I know I’m behind the times)

Success?

I’m ready for boots and hoodies

If opportunity comes knocking, do you open the door? Or take a nap?

I don’t think I’m built for cubicle life. But I watched Arthur grow a new leaf, and that was pretty cool.

It has been a busy few weeks – it seems like we’ve just now been able to take a breath at work.

It is so challenging to give a person help, and watch them not take it. It’s a good reminder for me that I need to continue to be willing to take different actions that are suggested to me.

Does everyone have a calling?

Does having an aversion to meat, cooking and eating it, mean that I shouldn’t cook and eat it? I mean, protein. But, moral dilemma. I know we’re carnivores and I get that. I also know that my brain is a little sideways, and sometimes I really struggle with eating meat. It’s something I’ve been rolling around in my brain for a while.

Does an adult ever feel rested? I mean really.

I wonder what having a cup of coffee every morning does to the body. I pretty much have coffee every morning. Hmm.

Do things that annoy you ever stop annoying you?

What is it about young children, boys especially, who feel that it is totally acceptable to walk or ride their bikes in the middle of the street, and not move when they know a car is coming? Or then they throw their bikes on the sidewalk or in the yard, where they’re left overnight and rained on. I don’t get that!

I wonder if the guy who delivers my groceries (I still can’t believe that) judges me for not going to the grocery store. I mean, I don’t particularly care, but I got the same guy twice in a row and I’ve just placed my third order – I wonder if he thinks I’m just immensely lazy? Or maybe he thinks I’m agoraphobic and never leave my house. Maybe he thinks I’m super spoiled and entitled. I don’t know, I’m very nice to him when he comes. I wonder if we’re supposed to tip? (I just looked it up, they accept tips. Mental note, get cash)

I’m reading The Dresden Files – first book: Storm Front. It’s actually really interesting. It’s right up my alley, a mix of fantasy and gritty crime novel. How have I only just now heard about it?

Apple Cinnamon Cheerios are a close second

In this day and age, where everyone has a camera and filters and everyone fancies themselves a photographer, is it a silly dream to want to be one? Not just a mediocre one, but a good one? Is it silly at 30 to finish one degree and start another that is completely different?

How is it that a plant can grow without soil?

It’s really true what they say, silence can absolutely be golden.

When you think about the universe, is it something that scares you or excites you?

I saw a truck on the interstate today that was carrying burial tombs. Not caskets. Like, full on tombs, decorated to the hilt. I didn’t even know there was a market for such a thing.

I feel like I’m wasting my life behind a desk doing a job that anyone could do, not really doing anything to benefit anyone else. It’s infuriating, to a degree, to realize that if I left, my presence would not be missed here. My circle of influence, for lack of a better term, is quite limited.

HyVee delivers groceries. It was a monumental day in my life once discovered. Yes, I used it. Yes, it was worth $4.95. Yes, I’ll do it again. I’m saving money by not going out to eat all the time, and I’ve got a variety of choices. It’s nice.

Sometimes people at work communicate in such a way that initially makes me bristle. Then I remember that it really doesn’t matter.

Golden Grahams might be the best cereal ever.

I’m not a doctor! (Not relevant)

It was legitimately cool last night. In July! That’s crazy talk.

I’ve got at least 2 unfinished projects I’d like to complete before school starts in August. They’re not difficult, I don’t know why I don’t just do them. Procrastination! *sigh*

I got flowers at work today! I can’t remember if I’ve ever gotten flowers at the office before. I don’t think I have. They smell great, they’re beautiful, and I’m so grateful. My parents are the coolest.

So, I was thinking about Interstellar, when they *spoiler* go to the planet where Matt Damon is and start preparing to colonize it. He talks about the surface below. And I just wondered, why the hell wouldn’t he be living on said surface? Why didn’t that trip any flags for those guys? Desperation? Perhaps. Still love that movie though.

Speaking of movies with Matt Damon and space, I saw the preview for Martian and it looks really good. I’ll be seeing that.

Push-ups are no joke. The exercise, not the dessert. Although…

Trying to relearn everything I know about food is crazy. Planning trips to the grocery store and rethinking what to eat at each meal is proving to be a challenge. I’m up for it, but it’s a lot to handle.

I’m grateful today that I know I never have to be alone. There was a time in my life when it felt like I was in a big dark cave, unable to see the walls and the ceiling because it was so dark, and lonely, and isolated. I’m so glad my life is full today. I have some of the best friends and family I could ever have, which is more than I deserve. I am shown every day how lucky I am. I know I got all sappy – I’ll try to get back to regular programming.

I think I have 3 separate piles of clothes that need addressing at my house. One needs folded, one needs ‘fluffed’ and one needs washed. I feel like I’ve been behind ever since I’ve been back. Maybe this weekend I’ll catch up. *please note, this is said with extreme optimism*

Help.

I have two big pet peeves at work. Ready? 1) fingernail clipping. That is clearly a grooming issue that should be addressed at home. I get the occasional hangnail, but every finger? Come on. 2) Loud ringtones of pop songs. Look, I get it. My ringtone is the theme to Harry Potter. I’m a big dork, just like everyone else. But it’s hard for a VP to take me seriously if Katy Perry’s Roar plays full blast while I’m on the phone.

I have colored pencils and a therapy coloring book at home – it’s a great way to unplug and decompress. Highly recommend.

I love books.

Friday at work and I still haven’t managed to go to the grocery store. I guess I’ll be doing some slow cooking again this weekend.

Ok, so in theory a paper cut sounds like no big deal. But in practice they hurt worse than a concussion. Why is that? Same thing with stubbed toes.

I always think eating greasy food sounds like a great idea. It’ll be so good! It is never that good. And I always feel terribly uncomfortable after. Why do I do that to myself? #nomoregrease

I took my first bike ride on Wednesday – a total round trip of 9.6 miles. Pretty crazy! It was fun, coming home was a challenge in the wind with a sore ass (that original seat is pretty unforgiving) but I’m looking forward to getting out again.

Ever think about the things you’re challenged by the most and wonder why that is? It takes a lot of work for me to be patient and tolerant. And not just of other people, of myself. I fight every day against my nature because I want to be a better person. And good people are patient and tolerant. And kind, among other things. But I need to remember to be that way with myself as well as with the people around me. I deserve it as much as they do.

Is it normal to be easily bored? Sometimes I just look around and realize I am not being intellectually stimulated at all, and it’s frustrating. I need a good fantasy book to get lost in.

Arthur is ready to be moved to soil. Success!

I need a nap.

Zombie Apocalypse

Upon changing the theme of my blog, it became apparent to me that my entries are quite long. My bad.

I was walking into the office and saw a wooden baseball bat propped up in the back of a small truck and I have questions. Is it for actually playing the sport or is it a weapon? How often is it used? What prompted this person to keep it in the truck? Pick-up games of ball randomly on a Tuesday afternoon or being jumped in the parking lot of a 7/11?

Anyone I know who has traveled to Ireland says the people are all so nice. But then people who are from Ireland say the people are all shites. So, I’m intrigued.

Hearts worn on sleeves are rarely safe, but they’re honest.

What is it about people and food days at work? I mean, every group I’ve been in gets ecstatic over food days. Let’s have a monthly food day! (Please wash your hands before and during prep)

So I was walking back to the parking garage in midtown after watching a few episodes of The Walking Dead on Monday, and it was late, and everything was quiet, and all I could think about was what the place would look like if the zombie apocalypse actually happened. Do you think you’d fare well in the event that happened? I’m not so sure I would. I’d like to think I would. But I dunno. I’m kind of a wuss.

On that note, in Arizona there are some concrete houses built into the side of mountains. Steep mountains that only have one road and could probably have serious storage caves built into the side of said mountains to store food and water and non-perishables. I’m just saying I may have considered their value in the event of zombies when we visited last year.

Arizona was one of the most beautiful places in a very unique way. I’d love to go back.

Seriously. Zombie fortress.

there you are

Maybe I should rename this blog sporadic musings. That way I’m less likely to feel poorly if I don’t get to posting in a day.

I’m happy to report that Arthur is growing roots. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have no idea when there are enough to put him in a pot. We’re not even close yet, but that’ll be something to research.

People are amazing. In good ways and bad ways.

I hate Mondays. Not just because of the work week, but because the magic of the weekend seems to disappear completely once Monday morning rolls around. I hate that.

I LOVE a sunrise after a stormy night, when there are still some clouds in the sky, and it’s all grays and pinks. I’d love to figure out how to paint something like that.

Orchestra performance was yesterday afternoon and it was a full house. It was wonderful to be on stage. I hope I can continue to participate when their repertoire calls for percussion.

Why are people so afraid to talk? To just be open and honest? I understand the vulnerability there – but I can’t imagine that being vulnerable with a person would make them care about you less. I don’t know, I just don’t get it. I’m not saying we should all go blab our dirty laundry to every person we meet – trust is earned. But once that trust is established, what keeps people from being open? Fear?

I wonder what it feels like to float in space.

Fabric that stretches out after having pulled up my sleeves one time is quite annoying. Now I cannot pull my sleeves back down without looking like my forearms are swimming in a sea of holey blue fabric. (It is in this moment that I remember why I do not wear this sweater. It shall go to the Goodwill pile!)

I can crack my right thumb 2 or 3 times in a row, and I do it randomly throughout the day. I think it might be from texting. It’s incredibly satisfying when it cracks, but when I try and it doesn’t, I’m left with a discomfort that leads me to continue the attempt until it happens at least once. There’s something not right about that, I’d think. I’m weird. (It’s the only finger that does that too, btw)

Why is it so difficult to pay for things I need to, like the oil change my car is currently undergoing, or groceries, but it is so easy to pay for the things I want to, like energy drinks. Or shoes.

That whole ‘Treat people the way you want to be treated’ thing is on point.

Just how many types of apples are there? Seriously there are so many.