To Travel, Always

So, what I’ve found is that watching TV is as much a vacation as being somewhere new. Also, I’ve found about 4 new shows I’d love to get into. Not enough to pay for cable, but I get how people get hooked on so many TV shows.

I met the nicest guy on the plane ride from Chicago to Fort Lauderdale. We talked the whole trip. Considering we took a detour to avoid a storm, it was about 2.5 hours of chatting. You can learn a lot about a person in that time. I love that about traveling. Everyone has a story – and I love when people choose to share their stories with me. He and his wife and their friends nearly missed boarding, so they were all split up. Lucky me, he was so pleasant. He also suggested, after getting to me a little bit, that I should write as well. But what to write? I just have no idea. I know that I love it, but I don’t know what interests people that I have the knowledge to write about. I can write about my experience, that’s all I got. Maybe it’ll be enough someday. I just find it more than coincidence that I continue to hear that from people in my life.

I just want one thing in my life that is mine, ya know? One thing about me that makes me, me. Everything that I do right now is shared by at least one of my family members or friends. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. Having said that – what makes me, me? Is it writing? Maybe. I don’t know. I’m in a spot where everything is somewhat up in the air – I think that’s probably a good place to be. It means anything can happen, and I like that idea.

I’m in Fort Lauderdale. The views are incredible. While I will admit, staying on the Gulf side is better for sunsets, I’m quite excited about seeing the sunrise tomorrow morning. The sand is soft and the waves crashing on the shore is mesmerizing. I realize how lucky I am that I have been to so many places and continue to travel. Sometimes I get lonely, especially when couples make up the most of the clientele, however most of the time I relish the solitude. I am more of an independent free spirit than I ever really recognized before. Embracing, owning and honoring that abut myself has been an incredibly rewarding experience.

For now, NCIS is marathoning on USA, which I can watch because I have cable in my hotel room. Fancy. Tomorrow is the World Finals Sand Volleyball Tournament on the beach – along with reading, relaxing, exercising, and just being.

Soak it up.

Friday took forever to get here.

What if what I think is random isn’t so random?

Do you do things you don’t want to do because you know that even if you don’t want to it’s the right thing to do? Adulting.

I am surprised that I am apprehensive to go on vacation tomorrow considering I already traveled alone much further away, but I suppose it’s healthy to be a little afraid. Right? RIGHT?

I am looking forward to reading a lot.

How does one figure out what to write about? Just, generally speaking. Generally.

It’s funny, I see a list of movies that are leaving Netflix and I’m outraged that I didn’t even know some of them were AVAILABLE on Netflix and then I remember I watch the same 2 or 3 shows all the time and consider the fact that maybe I need to branch out more.

If I want to travel internationally again next year, I should start figuring out where I want to go now. Or soon-ish.

Figuring out who I am, what I like and what I want, and learning how to speak up and voice all of that, has been a terrifying and also quite rewarding experience. I get to exercise my right to say yes, and to say no, and deal with whatever the fallout is from those actions. I get to choose. It’s cool. I realize that speaking your mind and saying no when you don’t want to do something or yes when you do may not be new for a lot of people. It is new for me. I’m liking it a lot.

Tattoo in Florida? Mayyyyybe….

Adulting? Mostly.

This week I:

• Started a novel
• Went on a 1st date
• Hit the gym hard
• Got a massage
• Got asked on a 2nd date
• Lowered my car insurance (this is a huge deal)
• Had a lunch date with my mom
• Vaccuumed
• Got groceries (still delivery, let’s not get too excited)
• Made it to work early every day
• Actually wore lipstick to work
• Made my bed every day
• Finished said novel
• Didn’t forget one coffee date or appointment
• Packed food every day for work
• Started a second novel

This week I did not:

• Do laundry
• Unload the dishwasher
• Get my oil changed
• Make it to the gym as often as I would have liked
• stop listening to Imagine Dragons (I know I’m behind the times)

Success?

It’s my Thursday.

I have a daily reprieve from acting like a jerk. Contingent upon reaching out to the universe and asking for a little guidance and support. My days go better when I ask. But when I’m in a terrible mental condition, my ability to be judgmental and insensitive increases exponentially. I don’t like to be that way. When I am that way, whatever I’m being judgmental about is usually something that I’m insecure about within myself. It is always a reflection of something I am lacking that needs to change. The ability to amend bad behavior and be aware of what I’m doing and to recognize that I get to choose how I act going forward is a freedom in itself because I don’t have to be chained to my own negativity. I can be positive, and not let what others do or say affect my mood. Slowly but surely, this becomes truer in my life.

Everyone has value. Including me.

I found pictures from Seattle and now I really want to go back. (I also kinda miss my long hair when I see those pictures)

Donuts are just little pieces of heaven. Man, why are they so good? And SO terrible for you?

Yoga has become something I really look forward to every week. I would love to incorporate more than one class a week into my schedule. I feel more centered and right with the world and the higher power working in my life after class than after any other time.

Ireland is coming up and I’m starting to panic about the little things like ya know, getting from the city to the B&B, wondering if they’ll be nice to me, questioning how much cab rides are really going to be, pondering if I’ve saved enough money or if I’ll have to put some things on credit, will I meet people, what will I learn, where will I love the most, how am I going to get to the tour stop at 7:40 am, etc. Then I think about like, what to do for 11 hours on a plane. I need a new book or two. Mostly I’m excited though. I think it’s probably normal and a little logical to be questioning those kinds of things. Right?

Did I mention already that I got a new bike seat and pedals with straps? Going for another bike ride tomorrow – pretty excited.

Is there some habit that you’d like to change in your life? I always hunch my shoulders. I carry so much tension in my neck and my upper back that I would really like to stop doing that. I’m working on it.

Tomorrow is my last day of work for the week and then I’m taking a trip to Minnesota to unplug. Just a couple of days, but I’m looking forward to it.

I love books.

Friday at work and I still haven’t managed to go to the grocery store. I guess I’ll be doing some slow cooking again this weekend.

Ok, so in theory a paper cut sounds like no big deal. But in practice they hurt worse than a concussion. Why is that? Same thing with stubbed toes.

I always think eating greasy food sounds like a great idea. It’ll be so good! It is never that good. And I always feel terribly uncomfortable after. Why do I do that to myself? #nomoregrease

I took my first bike ride on Wednesday – a total round trip of 9.6 miles. Pretty crazy! It was fun, coming home was a challenge in the wind with a sore ass (that original seat is pretty unforgiving) but I’m looking forward to getting out again.

Ever think about the things you’re challenged by the most and wonder why that is? It takes a lot of work for me to be patient and tolerant. And not just of other people, of myself. I fight every day against my nature because I want to be a better person. And good people are patient and tolerant. And kind, among other things. But I need to remember to be that way with myself as well as with the people around me. I deserve it as much as they do.

Is it normal to be easily bored? Sometimes I just look around and realize I am not being intellectually stimulated at all, and it’s frustrating. I need a good fantasy book to get lost in.

Arthur is ready to be moved to soil. Success!

I need a nap.