What a hiatus!

I have not been around these parts in a minute! I’ve been using another medium to blog about some things near and dear that I don’t necessarily need everyone to know about but have to work through. With that, plus school, meetings, work, standing appointments, choir, orchestra, and dating, I’ve been incredibly busy.

Crazy how life gets good isn’t it?

Have you ever taken into consideration the random articles found on the roadways? I’m curious. I mentioned this on my Facebook, seeing a random shoe in the median. The responses were varied – some wondered, like me, if a person was so angry that throwing a shoe out of the window was the only natural response. Others thought that perhaps something terrible happened. One person said a ‘friend of hers’ thought that it was proof of an alien abduction. But I mean, I have seen some weird things on the roadside. Baby seat. Couch. Couch cushion. Bookshelf. Shoe. Backpack. I can’t imagine that all of these things bounced out of the back of a truck.

Sometimes I look at pictures of space, and of Earth, and of our Universe and I just get overwhelmed. Does that ever happen to you with anything? I just think about our planets in orbit around the sun, and how incredible it is that such a thing exists at all, and how so many things happen in such a big world that is actually tiny in comparison to the solar system it resides in while hurtling through space. Sometimes it’s a challenge for me to wrap my mind around the god thing, but when I think of all this, I’m convinced that the name doesn’t matter – there’s something out there bigger than me and I’m grateful.

Think about weather, and tides, and how plants and humans help each other out, and tell me that it wasn’t by design. Now look, I’m a firm believer in science and I’m not saying that the world was created in “7 days” by a supreme being. I don’t think there’s a puppet master pulling strings. What I am saying is that it isn’t just coincidence that humans breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, and that plants absorb carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. That’s one of many examples that I could provide, but I think at this point I’m starting to ramble. It’s just powerful stuff.

I’m *this* close to home-ownership again! Also *this* close to being done with class for the semester. Orchestra concert was Sunday and went off well. I had a few people in the audience this time which was pretty cool. Choir concert is in a month. Closing date for the house would be in a month. I’m dating a neat guy. I’m doing personal training at the gym, I’m sponsoring a gal who seems to really be trying, I’m participating in service commitments…

Basically what I’m saying is I’m so busy I think that sometimes I skate by on adrenaline and caffeine alone. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I have a few friends who openly protest Thanksgiving, stating that America is celebrating genocide of the Native American population, and I know there are many others who believe that way. Lots of protests by Native American tribes take place on Thanksgiving. On the other hand, many Native Americans are supportive of Thanksgiving, as the main purpose of the day is to give thanks to whatever you believe in for the things we have in life. I think initially it was a day of thanks for the first successful harvest. Of course, there are those who will say history has been changed and what the books say does not accurately reflect what really happened. I guess we’ll never know for sure.What I love is that everyone is entitled to believe what they want. As long as you don’t force your beliefs on me, we’re good.

That being said, I love Thanksgiving, with all of the drama of trying to get the food prepared at the same time, making sure the potatoes aren’t too lumpy or too smooth. I swear, someday I’m going to master what ‘until it looks right’ means when my mom tells me to add milk to the potatoes. I like looking at ads at what I’d buy if I had all the money in the world or the bravery to try to shop on Black Friday. I like having football on the TV while we nap, going to the meeting, playing games, eating pie. What I really want to do that I have never done is see the lighting ceremony in our downtown area. I am hoping I can this year. I’ve been here 30 years and never experienced it. I mean I’ve seen the lights. I just haven’t seen them light up for the first time. Ya get me.

Wow. This thing is all over the place. Well, kinda like my brain I guess. You’re welcome.

there you are

Maybe I should rename this blog sporadic musings. That way I’m less likely to feel poorly if I don’t get to posting in a day.

I’m happy to report that Arthur is growing roots. I’m not ashamed to admit that I have no idea when there are enough to put him in a pot. We’re not even close yet, but that’ll be something to research.

People are amazing. In good ways and bad ways.

I hate Mondays. Not just because of the work week, but because the magic of the weekend seems to disappear completely once Monday morning rolls around. I hate that.

I LOVE a sunrise after a stormy night, when there are still some clouds in the sky, and it’s all grays and pinks. I’d love to figure out how to paint something like that.

Orchestra performance was yesterday afternoon and it was a full house. It was wonderful to be on stage. I hope I can continue to participate when their repertoire calls for percussion.

Why are people so afraid to talk? To just be open and honest? I understand the vulnerability there – but I can’t imagine that being vulnerable with a person would make them care about you less. I don’t know, I just don’t get it. I’m not saying we should all go blab our dirty laundry to every person we meet – trust is earned. But once that trust is established, what keeps people from being open? Fear?

I wonder what it feels like to float in space.

Fabric that stretches out after having pulled up my sleeves one time is quite annoying. Now I cannot pull my sleeves back down without looking like my forearms are swimming in a sea of holey blue fabric. (It is in this moment that I remember why I do not wear this sweater. It shall go to the Goodwill pile!)

I can crack my right thumb 2 or 3 times in a row, and I do it randomly throughout the day. I think it might be from texting. It’s incredibly satisfying when it cracks, but when I try and it doesn’t, I’m left with a discomfort that leads me to continue the attempt until it happens at least once. There’s something not right about that, I’d think. I’m weird. (It’s the only finger that does that too, btw)

Why is it so difficult to pay for things I need to, like the oil change my car is currently undergoing, or groceries, but it is so easy to pay for the things I want to, like energy drinks. Or shoes.

That whole ‘Treat people the way you want to be treated’ thing is on point.

Just how many types of apples are there? Seriously there are so many.

So many questions.

What if we could go back in time? I think music is the closest to time travel I’ll ever see in my lifetime. Music can take me back to any moment in my life. I was listening to M83 earlier today and I remembered sitting on the floor in the airport with my family, with my brother’s headphones on, listening to them for the first time. Songs bring back all kinds of memories. Saying goodbye to a friend in high school before she moved away to college. Jamming out in my first car. Dancing around with a childhood friend in her apartment. Going to see a show. Working through grief, curled up alone with my cats. Fourth of July at the baseball field. An argument with a past friend. An old relationship. A road trip to Missouri to see a childhood friend get married. Riding in the backseat as a kid. Botched attempts at karaoke back in the day. Dancing at a wedding reception. Spending Friday nights at Skate Land. (heyoooo) Sitting in the living room with my brother at the rental house my freshman year of high school watching Wizard of Oz, muted with Pink Floyd playing on the stereo. Sitting on the floor with my guitar, figuring out chords by ear. All types of memories, good and bad, but they’re the pieces that make up my life. Music reminds me of those moments that may lie dormant in my mind. It’s magical really.

What would it be like if travel were inexpensive? If going all over the world, learning about different cultures and relating with humans was something that was encouraged? Would people take advantage of that? Or would things stay the same? Why is it that taking a risk is so scary, even when the reward could be so great?

I use those gain flings to wash my laundry – where does the plastic go? Does it disintegrate?

I think it would be amazing to be inside the mind of someone who invents things. How do they see the world? Does everything look like an opportunity to them? Do they see things and constantly see ways to improve them? Mostly I find people fascinating.

What if we could siphon out a few seconds of our internal playback and watch it on TV. Would it make sense? I mean, I can go from Marvel comics to coffee farms in no time at all. I just wonder sometimes what it would look like to actually watch that rather than just internalizing it. (I know I’m weird, but come on)

Why does the smell of a new book instantly make me happy?

What is it about not feeling well that makes me feel like a small child? I almost always want my mom to make me a 7-up and cranberry juice drink over crushed ice. Instead I lie on the couch in a ball, tucked under covers (and then those covers are strewn on the floor) wishing the sickness to just … go away. Time for bed, again.

Goodbye Weekend.

So, yesterday was an amazing day, but stressful. At the end of it though, all the stress was worth it. I do not feel the same way when stressed about things like money. Stressing about money is never as satisfying and I do it way more often. Being grateful for a day full of friends and care is way more rewarding.

Why is it that my bed is absolutely uncomfortable when I go to sleep, but when I jump up in the morning to turn my alarm off and dive back under the covers it takes me no time at all to fall back asleep for that 9 minutes before my snooze goes off?

On that note, what is it about snoozing that is so seemingly satisfying? Like, hey. I totally set this for 20 minutes too early because I want to feel like I’m getting away with something by delaying my inevitable rise from slumber. I’m such a badass. (I’m not)

Why do cats constantly meow for food in their bowls when there is clearly food in the bowl? Seriously.

There is something about a lazy Sunday that is extremely gratifying. Productivity has its benefits, but there’s something to be said for slowing down enough to just be, and to be ok with that. Napping is the shit. (Yes, I still have laundry to finish and food to cook, but it doesn’t have to be done today)

Do animals have good memories? I understand they are teachable, but I mean do my cats remember being in the humane society 7 years ago? How do they perceive time? How is it that they just know that 2 am is the perfect time to tear through the house and play with toys that make noise?

Naturally motivated people are quite fascinating to me. I am equal parts jealous and impressed. I need to finish laundry and cleaning my house, yet here I sit, watching Netflix.

I’ve kept things light so far – please don’t misunderstand. I have plenty of thoughts about more somber topics, or more controversial topics. The thing is, I don’t want to focus on negative things in life, and I’m not one to write for the sake of being sensational or for shock value. Furthermore, my lack of a desire to create negative controversy or invite drama into my life has a direct effect on the things I invest my time in.