What a hiatus!

I have not been around these parts in a minute! I’ve been using another medium to blog about some things near and dear that I don’t necessarily need everyone to know about but have to work through. With that, plus school, meetings, work, standing appointments, choir, orchestra, and dating, I’ve been incredibly busy.

Crazy how life gets good isn’t it?

Have you ever taken into consideration the random articles found on the roadways? I’m curious. I mentioned this on my Facebook, seeing a random shoe in the median. The responses were varied – some wondered, like me, if a person was so angry that throwing a shoe out of the window was the only natural response. Others thought that perhaps something terrible happened. One person said a ‘friend of hers’ thought that it was proof of an alien abduction. But I mean, I have seen some weird things on the roadside. Baby seat. Couch. Couch cushion. Bookshelf. Shoe. Backpack. I can’t imagine that all of these things bounced out of the back of a truck.

Sometimes I look at pictures of space, and of Earth, and of our Universe and I just get overwhelmed. Does that ever happen to you with anything? I just think about our planets in orbit around the sun, and how incredible it is that such a thing exists at all, and how so many things happen in such a big world that is actually tiny in comparison to the solar system it resides in while hurtling through space. Sometimes it’s a challenge for me to wrap my mind around the god thing, but when I think of all this, I’m convinced that the name doesn’t matter – there’s something out there bigger than me and I’m grateful.

Think about weather, and tides, and how plants and humans help each other out, and tell me that it wasn’t by design. Now look, I’m a firm believer in science and I’m not saying that the world was created in “7 days” by a supreme being. I don’t think there’s a puppet master pulling strings. What I am saying is that it isn’t just coincidence that humans breathe in oxygen and breathe out carbon dioxide, and that plants absorb carbon dioxide and emit oxygen. That’s one of many examples that I could provide, but I think at this point I’m starting to ramble. It’s just powerful stuff.

I’m *this* close to home-ownership again! Also *this* close to being done with class for the semester. Orchestra concert was Sunday and went off well. I had a few people in the audience this time which was pretty cool. Choir concert is in a month. Closing date for the house would be in a month. I’m dating a neat guy. I’m doing personal training at the gym, I’m sponsoring a gal who seems to really be trying, I’m participating in service commitments…

Basically what I’m saying is I’m so busy I think that sometimes I skate by on adrenaline and caffeine alone. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

I have a few friends who openly protest Thanksgiving, stating that America is celebrating genocide of the Native American population, and I know there are many others who believe that way. Lots of protests by Native American tribes take place on Thanksgiving. On the other hand, many Native Americans are supportive of Thanksgiving, as the main purpose of the day is to give thanks to whatever you believe in for the things we have in life. I think initially it was a day of thanks for the first successful harvest. Of course, there are those who will say history has been changed and what the books say does not accurately reflect what really happened. I guess we’ll never know for sure.What I love is that everyone is entitled to believe what they want. As long as you don’t force your beliefs on me, we’re good.

That being said, I love Thanksgiving, with all of the drama of trying to get the food prepared at the same time, making sure the potatoes aren’t too lumpy or too smooth. I swear, someday I’m going to master what ‘until it looks right’ means when my mom tells me to add milk to the potatoes. I like looking at ads at what I’d buy if I had all the money in the world or the bravery to try to shop on Black Friday. I like having football on the TV while we nap, going to the meeting, playing games, eating pie. What I really want to do that I have never done is see the lighting ceremony in our downtown area. I am hoping I can this year. I’ve been here 30 years and never experienced it. I mean I’ve seen the lights. I just haven’t seen them light up for the first time. Ya get me.

Wow. This thing is all over the place. Well, kinda like my brain I guess. You’re welcome.

I’m not a doctor! (Not relevant)

It was legitimately cool last night. In July! That’s crazy talk.

I’ve got at least 2 unfinished projects I’d like to complete before school starts in August. They’re not difficult, I don’t know why I don’t just do them. Procrastination! *sigh*

I got flowers at work today! I can’t remember if I’ve ever gotten flowers at the office before. I don’t think I have. They smell great, they’re beautiful, and I’m so grateful. My parents are the coolest.

So, I was thinking about Interstellar, when they *spoiler* go to the planet where Matt Damon is and start preparing to colonize it. He talks about the surface below. And I just wondered, why the hell wouldn’t he be living on said surface? Why didn’t that trip any flags for those guys? Desperation? Perhaps. Still love that movie though.

Speaking of movies with Matt Damon and space, I saw the preview for Martian and it looks really good. I’ll be seeing that.

Push-ups are no joke. The exercise, not the dessert. Although…

Trying to relearn everything I know about food is crazy. Planning trips to the grocery store and rethinking what to eat at each meal is proving to be a challenge. I’m up for it, but it’s a lot to handle.

I’m grateful today that I know I never have to be alone. There was a time in my life when it felt like I was in a big dark cave, unable to see the walls and the ceiling because it was so dark, and lonely, and isolated. I’m so glad my life is full today. I have some of the best friends and family I could ever have, which is more than I deserve. I am shown every day how lucky I am. I know I got all sappy – I’ll try to get back to regular programming.

I think I have 3 separate piles of clothes that need addressing at my house. One needs folded, one needs ‘fluffed’ and one needs washed. I feel like I’ve been behind ever since I’ve been back. Maybe this weekend I’ll catch up. *please note, this is said with extreme optimism*

Help.

I have two big pet peeves at work. Ready? 1) fingernail clipping. That is clearly a grooming issue that should be addressed at home. I get the occasional hangnail, but every finger? Come on. 2) Loud ringtones of pop songs. Look, I get it. My ringtone is the theme to Harry Potter. I’m a big dork, just like everyone else. But it’s hard for a VP to take me seriously if Katy Perry’s Roar plays full blast while I’m on the phone.

I have colored pencils and a therapy coloring book at home – it’s a great way to unplug and decompress. Highly recommend.

It’s May

Yoga is magical, exhausting, refreshing and restorative to the soul.

Why do almost all action movies have the protagonist saunter away from an explosion without turning around or being blown forward?

Letting go of something doesn’t necessarily mean saying goodbye, it just means being ok with change.

Does Loki really love Frigga? I mean, was he legitimately saddened at herher death and does he mean what he says to Thor at the end of The Dark World (under the guise of Odin) and on that note, when the guard said they found a body and Odin said Loki, did he know that Loki had taken someone else’s form or did he think Loki died?

Why do some groups of women squeal with delight, loudly? Is it inability to handle the excitement or seeking attention?

How did Stark not know that Obadiah was a bad guy? Seriously that guy screamed asshole.

I bought a bicycle this weekend. I realize I’m going on a trip in a month but there was a sale and I’d wanted one for a long time. Probably could’ve waited, didn’t, real excited to ride it. Probably not today, my woke body aches from yoga and well, it’s about to be thunderstorm central. No complaints here, I love storms.

I can recognize today that my fear of the unknown can be paralyzing, and it can be suffocating, and I hate it. I ask the universe on the regular to help rid me of that fear and learn to be present, and to take actions that enable my present to be enjoyable, lighthearted and happy. Not full of anxiety, fear, insecurity and doubt.

Why do pilots say mayday when going down? Yes I will probably Google that, it just never occurred to me before.

I love origin stories.

I also love carrot cake. I could really enjoy a piece right now.

Life

Remember how I’m trying to grow a plant in my cubicle? I know it’s only been a week but I’m not seeing any roots yet and fear that Arty is not going to make it. Cross your fingers.

How is it that I can completely forget events going on that I’ve been preparing for months for? My orchestra concert is this weekend. THIS WEEKEND! Tonight is my last orchestra rehearsal! That’s kinda sad. I’m grateful for the experience though. It’s been wonderful.

Who thought trampolines were a good idea, ever? I mean really? They’re death traps. (I may or may not have injured myself on one yesterday) My point is – what was the original purpose of a trampoline? Who decided it would be a good idea to stretch that material on springs and jump on it? I’m guessing for science. But I do not know.

Do people who have automatic lights on their cars just assume that if they don’t come on automatically they aren’t necessary? It’s been rainy and gloomy here all week. Turn on your lights people. I pulled out onto a main street thinking I had all kinds of time only to see a camouflaged car at the last second. I had to hit the gas like mad, in the rain, over train tracks. I checked my rear-view a few times and they finally turned their lights on about 2 blocks down the road. Seriously?

Why is it that I struggle with asking people to come support me in the things that I am passionate about? I always feel like it’s an inconvenience or that I shouldn’t be proud of what I’m doing. That has to be something deep within myself, something about people pleasing that I don’t want to invite people to come to my performances because I don’t want to take the chance that they might not enjoy it or they might get bored. Which is dumb, because I’ve gone to things I didn’t want to go to in the spirit of supporting the people I care about. Why shouldn’t I give other people the opportunity to do the same? Life is challenging.

So in the movie Avatar (which I may or may not have watched last night) I am curious, did Jake’s human body get tired while he was running around in his Na’vi body? Or were they completely separate? I mean I know he needed to sleep after, but was he physically exhausted? (note: I had forgotten how good that movie was) Did you know they’re making a sequel? Split into 3 movies? I KNOW. It’s very exciting.

Also, I love the idea of energy flowing through all things, and the line in the movie about how everything is made up of borrowed energy…

“She talks about a network of energy that flows through all living things. All energy is only borrowed. And one day you have to give it back.”

I think that’s a beautiful way to view the universe.

It’s A Good Day.

Why is it that the second I lay down for a power nap I think of all the things I could be doing instead, utilizing the short amount of time I have for rest to instead plan my mode of attack?

Are ‘Senior citizen parking only’ signs upheld by law? Like, if I park in one and get caught is that a punishable offense? Do I get fined or just shamed?

Why is it so refreshing to spend time in a clean house but such a challenge to actually do the cleaning?

I swear, any time I’m not at home, I only have to go to the bathroom at the most inopportune times.

Is it a fashion faux pas to wear sandals in 55° weather because I’m wishing for it to be warmer? (If that’s wrong I don’t want to be right)

Stomach noises are incredibly embarrassing and totally outside my control, which just makes it worse.

The enjoyment from giving to others surpasses joy from getting, in my experience. The well crafted gift is quite amazing to give. I enjoy bringing joy to others if I can.

Why is it that, when in a rush at the store, there’s inevitably a person insistent on paying with exact change?

Spring in Nebraska is deceiving. Too many chances for winter, or summer, to intervene, momentarily, and invite either panic (I’m so done with you winter) or fleeting joy (80°? Please stay!)

Writing every day is a challenge, not because I don’t have the content, but it’s a new discipline I must turn into a habit.

Celebrating the birthday of a man I extremely care for tonight. My life is full of great things.

Two in one Day? The Audacity.

Why are timpani players in orchestra always men over 50? (This is envy talking, I’m thrilled to be playing in orchestra at all but it seems the odds of me ever playing timpani again are not high)

I don’t get the motivation behind announcing the weather on social media. Then again, I posted a picture of a plant I’m trying to grow at work. So… there’s that.

Every time I try to make a recipe from my childhood, it pales in comparison to my memory. What’s with that?

Why do people prefer certain types of music? Is it based on early childhood exposure? Or more about what’s happened in life? Or is it something in our brains?

I struggle with telling people about things I do and enjoy. Like singing, or painting. I always have to set the standards really low by explaining how I’m not very good. What’s the deal with that?

I can get passionate about almost anything, and in no time at all. I can get to the middle of a heated discussion and realize I’m fervently talking about my parent’s old hand mixer in comparison to my new one that died after two uses. (Theirs are older than me and still working marvelously. Wtf?)

Does every person on this planet have a purpose? Like, a deep, to the core, purpose of the soul? If so, how does one access that info? Is there a secret trek I’m supposed to participate in?

The night sky is infinitely beautiful to me. I can get lost in the stars.

I’m going to enjoy orchestra rehearsal now. Jackson Berkey will be here and that’s exciting. We’re doing a world premier of one of his pieces which is an amazing opportunity I’m grateful to be part of. These are the types of gifts I’ve been given. My musings may seem as if I’m unhappy. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m quite thrilled with my life. I just find life itself intriguing.

P.s. my plant’s name is Arthur. But I say it with a British accent. It’s way more fun that way.

(Arthur)