13.5 hours

Change is hard. Being willing to take direction and reach out to others makes it easier. Not easy, just, not as challenging as trying to manage everything on my own.

Guardians of the Galaxy is better than I remembered. The music is also awesome. Groot is incredibly well animated – he says so much with his face that he doesn’t really need to be able to say much with his words. And his theme music gives me goosebumps every time. (Big dork, I know. Sue me.)

I packed for Ireland this afternoon and when I was finished, couldn’t really recall everything I’d packed. I’m sure I missed something, but I can buy what I need when I get there.

I had a lot to blog about as the day happened and now that I’m sitting on the couch, every witty thought or random question I had has escaped me.

I’m exhausted but know that I can’t sleep – I have cleaned the kitchen, finished laundry (I had to dry my last little bit at my parents as my dryer broke this afternoon, of course) and made a list of things that need to be done in the morning. I will finish this movie, take a bath and hope that relaxes me enough to catch some zzz’s on the couch.

My cat Nico chases my shadow and I think it’s hilarious.

People watching downtown last night was incredibly entertaining and I’m really glad I didn’t sit at home and do nothing, stuck in my head. I have a pretty awesome support group around me these days.

Bug bites on the feet are pretty horrible. I mean, I can think of a few worse places, but not many.

I’m grateful for the chance to get away. I’m grateful that I know I’ll be missed while I’m gone, and that I’ll come home to people who care about me.

“You said it yourself bitch. We’re the guardians of the galaxy.” What a fantastic line.

I could vacuum. Maybe in the morning.

Jumanji!

Do you find yourself trying to do daily activities and struggling, and then suffering embarrassment when someone notices? Monday I was trying to get a paper towel to dry my hands in the bathroom, and I could not get it. It was a brand new roll and someone squeezed that sucker onto the roller and there was clearly no room for the roll to roll. Anyway, I think I may have whimpered a little bit trying to pry the paper towel off, right as another woman walked in. I promptly left the bathroom. With wet hands. I should’ve waited to see how she handled the situation. That probably would’ve been creepier.

I had lunch with my dad yesterday- that was fun. Then I spilled pizza down my shirt. That was not as much fun.

Tell me this. Why is it that when someone sneaks up on someone else in a movie with a weapon, like say, Phil Coulson sneaks up on Loki in the Avengers, why do they always talk first? I mean, I get it. You have something clever or witty to say. Shoot them, and then say your piece. I mean, it’s a classic mistake.

I did not sleep well last night. My brain would not shut down. It was apparently on overdrive, and I couldn’t get comfortable. It was one of those mornings where I was conscious, just waiting for the alarm to go off. Given that, I got to work really early. So, bonus?

I laugh at the same jokes in movies almost every time, or at least smile in appreciation. I am a rewatcher of movies. I guess I just don’t always want to take the chance of watching something new and having it be terrible. Every once in a while I break out, but I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched some of my favorites. I know all the lines, I know the jokes when they’re coming, and I am still amused. For what it’s worth, don’t try that in real life. If you tell me the same joke every day, there will come a point where I will give you a death stare and walk away before you finish. It does not translate to real life.

Speaking of movies, I can’t wait for Jurassic World. Judge all you want, it looks fantastic.

I have started preliminary packing. Laying things out, etc. I have a birthday to celebrate a bit on Saturday so I have a feeling Sunday is going to be a mad dash to get everything. I can’t figure out if I’m going to under-pack or over-pack. I’m trying not to panic but I’m freaking out a little bit. I need to make a new checklist.

People never cease to amaze me.

Sounds silly, but I was in bed and the cats jumped up last night, and I realized that I’m going to miss them. I’m such a softie. I mean, I know they’ll be fine, but 10 days without someone with them overnight is a long time. I’m lucky I have friends who are willing to come over and spend time with them. They’ve been my comfort and entertainment for the past 7 years, it’s amazing how much a person can love a pet.

(I made a new checklist. I already feel better)

Bzzz

Why to fluorescent bulbs buzz?

What makes the air smell like rain? You know the smell I’m talking about. (if you’re from the midwest at least) I love it.

I don’t know why I sometimes feel compelled to sleep on my couch.

Monday workday is over halfway complete.

34 days to my trip.

Could Iron Man have been cast any better? I mean really. (I might have watched that yesterday)

Heart and Brain comics speak to me. I just love them.

 (I hate grocery shopping)

Do you ever wonder about things like superstitions? Like, is there one if it is stormy and sunny at the same time? And who comes up with those? Where do they originate? They have to start somewhere. This is why history intrigues me.

I wonder how much I’ll actually keep in touch with people while I’m out of town. I should really get in to Verizon and ask about international call plans or something. Maybe Skype would be a better option. I didn’t plan to bring my laptop but I suppose I could in my carry-on. Hmm. I wonder what kind of power converter I need for my plugs.

A whole bathroom of stalls. I’m talking 10 stalls, I’m the only one using the stall, and one of the people who comes in behind me chooses the stall right next to me. Why? WHY? Then comes the cross-stall talking. I can’t do that. It was all kinds of awkward.

I wonder a lot of things. Does everyone wonder a lot of things? Is that normal? I think my brain is just constantly on. On overdrive sometimes.

This Moment

Just how little sleep can an adult function properly on?

I think inspiring someone is pretty cool.

Why is it that when I start to experience a bit of serenity and a quiet mind, my brain decides to go into overdrive and identify some inconsequential question and begins to worry about it?

I’ve found that when I get like that, I can either choose to continue down that path of needless worry and indulge in my fear of the unknown, setting myself up for a terrible day, or, I can remind myself every time the question comes up (because it will be often throughout the day) that the answer does not matter, that knowing is not necessary, and that my day does not have to be dictated or controlled by one thought.

Sometimes, that is serious work.

It’s a great feeling to be genuinely happy for someone else’s joy. No envy or misplaced jealousy, no feeling of being slighted, just happiness for their happiness.

What’s it like to live where mountains, city, ocean and forest are a stone’s throw away from each other? Seriously. I don’t mind where I live, I’ve been here my whole life and my entire support system is here. But there are a lot of places I’d like to go and spend time. I love nature and being outside – its a way for me to connect with the universe.

How is it that time goes so slowly at the office and so quickly at home?

When did people first start writing comic strips? Were they scribbled out haphazardly and hidden away hundreds of years ago? I don’t see any ancient ‘Funnies’ being restored.

I have had to alternate between heat and air at my house because I can’t open the windows due to excessive noise from the highway. And the airplanes. I mean I could, but it’s so loud. Like, so loud. Definitely can’t sleep with the windows open, which is too bad. Although, considering the allergens in the air this year, maybe I’m better off.

Why do I hate doing laundry so much? Because it’s never ending? Because I have to wait for things to dry before I can make progress so it takes forever? I have no clue. I seriously can’t stand it though.

I used to think I had all this wisdom to share with the world. Little nuggets of truth that I’d learned that you’d read and it would just be like “BOOM”  life-changing moment. I don’t think that anymore. What I’ve come to realize is I really don’t know a whole lot about much. Not that I’m not intelligent. I believe I’m fairly smart, and can hold intelligent conversation about a plethora of topics at length. What I mean is, when it comes to life things, I’m constantly learning more.

I was told that the way I attack life is great. It made me thing about how I actually attack life. Sideways, mostly. I do what I have to so that I can do what I want to. It doesn’t mean I’m happy all the time, or that I’m feeling particularly fulfilled, or that I don’t want for something more or different. I’m just trying to let go of what I think I want in the future so that whatever’s out there for me can happen. Does that make sense? I don’t know. I just know that in high school and college I wanted the husband, 2 kids, dog, white picket fence, career, car, and the like. Now I’m almost 30 and I don’t have a husband, or kids, I have 2 cats, no picket fence, a decent job and a car that I can trust. So, 2 out of 6. And ya know, I’m pretty content, all things considered. It’s just interesting to me the way things seem to unfold in my life. And looking back, if I had gotten what I thought I wanted at 21 or 22, I’m not sure how happy I would’ve been. I guess I’m just feeling gratitude today for where I am. Today. Right now. Not worrying about where I’ve been or where I’m going. Just being glad for the moment.

Right now, the moment is pretty spectacular.