This Moment

Just how little sleep can an adult function properly on?

I think inspiring someone is pretty cool.

Why is it that when I start to experience a bit of serenity and a quiet mind, my brain decides to go into overdrive and identify some inconsequential question and begins to worry about it?

I’ve found that when I get like that, I can either choose to continue down that path of needless worry and indulge in my fear of the unknown, setting myself up for a terrible day, or, I can remind myself every time the question comes up (because it will be often throughout the day) that the answer does not matter, that knowing is not necessary, and that my day does not have to be dictated or controlled by one thought.

Sometimes, that is serious work.

It’s a great feeling to be genuinely happy for someone else’s joy. No envy or misplaced jealousy, no feeling of being slighted, just happiness for their happiness.

What’s it like to live where mountains, city, ocean and forest are a stone’s throw away from each other? Seriously. I don’t mind where I live, I’ve been here my whole life and my entire support system is here. But there are a lot of places I’d like to go and spend time. I love nature and being outside – its a way for me to connect with the universe.

How is it that time goes so slowly at the office and so quickly at home?

When did people first start writing comic strips? Were they scribbled out haphazardly and hidden away hundreds of years ago? I don’t see any ancient ‘Funnies’ being restored.

I have had to alternate between heat and air at my house because I can’t open the windows due to excessive noise from the highway. And the airplanes. I mean I could, but it’s so loud. Like, so loud. Definitely can’t sleep with the windows open, which is too bad. Although, considering the allergens in the air this year, maybe I’m better off.

Why do I hate doing laundry so much? Because it’s never ending? Because I have to wait for things to dry before I can make progress so it takes forever? I have no clue. I seriously can’t stand it though.

I used to think I had all this wisdom to share with the world. Little nuggets of truth that I’d learned that you’d read and it would just be like “BOOM”  life-changing moment. I don’t think that anymore. What I’ve come to realize is I really don’t know a whole lot about much. Not that I’m not intelligent. I believe I’m fairly smart, and can hold intelligent conversation about a plethora of topics at length. What I mean is, when it comes to life things, I’m constantly learning more.

I was told that the way I attack life is great. It made me thing about how I actually attack life. Sideways, mostly. I do what I have to so that I can do what I want to. It doesn’t mean I’m happy all the time, or that I’m feeling particularly fulfilled, or that I don’t want for something more or different. I’m just trying to let go of what I think I want in the future so that whatever’s out there for me can happen. Does that make sense? I don’t know. I just know that in high school and college I wanted the husband, 2 kids, dog, white picket fence, career, car, and the like. Now I’m almost 30 and I don’t have a husband, or kids, I have 2 cats, no picket fence, a decent job and a car that I can trust. So, 2 out of 6. And ya know, I’m pretty content, all things considered. It’s just interesting to me the way things seem to unfold in my life. And looking back, if I had gotten what I thought I wanted at 21 or 22, I’m not sure how happy I would’ve been. I guess I’m just feeling gratitude today for where I am. Today. Right now. Not worrying about where I’ve been or where I’m going. Just being glad for the moment.

Right now, the moment is pretty spectacular.

*gasp*

It happened. I went a day without posting. But, to be fair, not without writing, because half this post was drafted yesterday and I just didn’t manage to get it published. It was bound to happen but I do not intend for that to become commonplace. I know you were very concerned.

I know my cats love me unconditionally because they still rub their little faces on my arm even though they know they’re going to get shocked. The hesitation before they make contact means they know it’s coming and do it anyway. I’m not sure if that’s stupidity or what, but I’ll take it. I mean come on, we’ve all done dumb things to show someone we care about them, amirite? (I’m totally right)

I pick the nail polish off my fingernails after it starts to peel. The nail polish on my thumbnail is always the most difficult to remove sans nail polish remover. What makes the thumbnail mightier than the rest? Why does the nail polish adhere to it more effectively? I don’t get it.

Who looked at rhubarb and decided it might be a good idea to try to eat it? I mean look, I can enjoy a slice of strawberry rhubarb pie every now and then, but it has to be ice cold with cool whip. That aside, seriously. (I would have died in the ‘hunter/gatherer’ times. Oooo look berries! Why are they so red? Oh well.)

I enjoy working out every time I go but I also enjoy sitting on my couch. So…yeah…

It’s amazing to me the predicaments we as people can get ourselves into (and out of) based on ego, pride, self-centeredness, fear, etc. But equally as surprising are the situations we get into (and out of) based on care, concern, passion, selflessness, empathy, and love. Human emotion is varied, unpredictable and fascinating.

What happens to the phone numbers and email addresses that go unused or sit dormant? Do they eventually just disappear? I mean I made a LOT of email addresses as a pre-teen/teen. Does some program go through and clean them up? Could I be drmrgrl36 again? (I think that was one. Wow. I dunno.)

Interstellar was as good the 3rd time as the 1st. I caught way more watching it at home. I think probably because I wasn’t so caught up in the music that I was able to actually focus on what was happening in the movie.

I don’t know if you guys have figured it out yet but I’m just a big geek/nerd/dork or whatever. I wear Harry Potter and Zelda t-shirts, go on and on about things that aren’t particularly important, think about things I can’t really wrap my mind around (like the vastness of the universe, that one gets me more often than I care to admit) and laugh at my own jokes. I have a Harry Potter tattoo, I saw LOTR in the theater more than 2 or 3 times, I’ve probably got half the Marvel movies embedded in my memory, and playing word games is something I really enjoy doing in my limited spare time. I’m just grateful today that I embrace that instead of hide it.

Ok. What’s with the worm smell after the first few rain showers in the spring? How do people enjoy that smell? I remember walking through my neighborhood as a kid, being seriously grossed out by the earthworms that crawled across the pavement. I’d tiptoe around them and probably squeal a little bit. (Ok, so I’m a little dramatic too. Whatever) I’d also run in fear at the sound of the tornado siren tests on Saturday mornings. I was kind of a wuss.

I’m going to Denver today! Woo! That means I’m spending 8 hours alone in a car today, but the payoff will be SO worth it. Visiting friends and babies, enjoying not being at work, and coming back to what I expect to be quite an enjoyable 1st full week in April.

Have no fear, I still intend on posting every day, even on vacation. There MIGHT even be a second post tonight, just because I’m going to have 8 hours alone in a car to think. (That’s as frightening as it is promising)

It’s A Good Day.

Why is it that the second I lay down for a power nap I think of all the things I could be doing instead, utilizing the short amount of time I have for rest to instead plan my mode of attack?

Are ‘Senior citizen parking only’ signs upheld by law? Like, if I park in one and get caught is that a punishable offense? Do I get fined or just shamed?

Why is it so refreshing to spend time in a clean house but such a challenge to actually do the cleaning?

I swear, any time I’m not at home, I only have to go to the bathroom at the most inopportune times.

Is it a fashion faux pas to wear sandals in 55° weather because I’m wishing for it to be warmer? (If that’s wrong I don’t want to be right)

Stomach noises are incredibly embarrassing and totally outside my control, which just makes it worse.

The enjoyment from giving to others surpasses joy from getting, in my experience. The well crafted gift is quite amazing to give. I enjoy bringing joy to others if I can.

Why is it that, when in a rush at the store, there’s inevitably a person insistent on paying with exact change?

Spring in Nebraska is deceiving. Too many chances for winter, or summer, to intervene, momentarily, and invite either panic (I’m so done with you winter) or fleeting joy (80°? Please stay!)

Writing every day is a challenge, not because I don’t have the content, but it’s a new discipline I must turn into a habit.

Celebrating the birthday of a man I extremely care for tonight. My life is full of great things.